top surgery · transition

top surgery | 1 year post-op

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One Year Post-Op

I am coming up to 1 yearish post op. Will hit 1 year on 25 June.

I have mixed feelings.

First off, I am happy that my chest is flat. The sensation of having breasts feel like a distant memory, I look at the pre-op photo and I can’t believe I ever had those huge things hanging there. I don’t have to bind anymore(!!!) The scars have become a lot lighter. Clothes look SO much better on me now, it feels right.

Downsides… My left nipple is still a pink colour. My right areola has some scarring that is light brown instead of being the same brown as the nipple. I am thinking of getting tattooing done around the nipples to make them look like they are fading into my skin, to look more natural. I also want to get the pink colour tattooed brown, the light brown scarring tattooed brown.

Nothing is more disconcerting than pulling my shirt off, only to be met with two differently coloured nipples. Ideally, I wish I could have pink nipples but I am unsure if tattooing can make brown colour lighter.

I have indents in both sides, in the middle, between nipple and underarm. If I touch too deeply, I’ll feel a bazillion muscles twitching – the left side is worse than the right. When I lift my arms above my head and turn to the side, the indents in the chest are noticeable but otherwise it’s fine. The indents seem to be called adhesions, where the skin adheres to the chest wall.

I also have puckering at the scars, there is a particularly bad pucker line near my left nipple. Apparently lots and lots of massage and time may resolve the adhesion and puckering. When it does not, surgery is the final option.

(Seems to be most of my issues are with the left side…)

I really, really do not want to do a revision… because if the revision ends up being like paying top surgery price all over again ($5000+), I will be very unhappy. If it’s like 2000, that’s an easier, more reasonable pill to swallow.

Will see how I go…

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